Church Picking
When I moved to Bloomsburg, PA in 2011 I Googled "Bloomsburg Churches" and Bloomsburg Christian Church was the top hit. I went there my first Sunday, and there was never a reason to go anywhere else. My then girlfriend attended with me when she visited, and after we were married in 2012 we placed membership. It wasn't a perfect church, but it was perfect for us. We were heavily involved, the messages were outstanding, there was true community, and I ultimately became a deacon there.
In 2015 I took a job in the Harrisburg area so my wife and I could move closer to family. We always wanted to settle down here long-term, and with our first baby on the way, it was especially important.
We bought a house in Middletown, PA and began checking out churches in the area. Honestly, I had already started the search online in advance to help us narrow it down. We've now attended (sometimes for weeks) two churches in Middletown, two in Elizabethtown, and one in Mt. Joy. Hopefully some day we can ultimately settle in the E-town or Mt. Joy area, which is just south of Middletown, which is why we're avoiding churches in the Harrisburg area, and why Hershey and even Hummelstown haven't really been considered yet either. Essentially, we're not just looking for a church home for the next few years, but for the next few decades.
But it's been a serious struggle. Limiting by region hasn't helped, but things are tougher than I thought it would be. We would generally prefer a non-denominational church, but a conservative, Biblical denomination would be fine too. Of the five places we've visited, there have been two non-denominational, one Southern Baptist, one EFCA, and one Christian Missionary Alliance. All of them are doctrinally sound.
Generally, I think we're evaluating churches based on four criteria: Sermons (biblical, expository, relevant, and style), Community (diverse ages, inviting, have small groups, children's ministry), Evangelism/Community Outreach, and Music. Right or wrong, that's basically how I've been looking at things.
Church A had solid preaching, but there was, I think, one other couple within 10 years of our age. Three children were there, and one of them was with his grandmother, whom I believe was visiting family in the area and wanted to attend church with her grandson. People were welcoming. They apparently had a cookout going on later int he day and probably five people invited us. Also noteworthy is that my wife was nine months pregnant at the time. Many older woman gave her plenty of attention! I don't remember the topic of the sermon, but the pastor was great. It was a very biblical and expository sermon. He would actually stop by the house within the next week or so and wrote a very nice note to my wife. He called me a time or two as well. It was tough, though, because there was no community our own age. Were we to stay there and build that community? Was that our call? I'm not sure they had much going on in the area of evangelism, but we only attended once.
We attended Church B sporadically over the next couple months. Sporadically because that's when our daughter was born. The first time we went was like a day or two before our daughter was due, and they immediately got us signed up for a "meal train." Seriously, they didn't even know us, and they had meals for us every other day for two weeks after she was born. I texted with the pastor during the 20 hours of labor and the sudden need for a c-section. Why did we stop going? Honestly, the teaching seemed really shallow. Not unbiblical, but it could be described as what used to be called "seeker-sensitive." Not at all expository. So we looked elsewhere.
Church C had some really kind people and we were told about a small group that was really active. This church probably had the best diversity in age. I once met with the pastor for coffee and he was one of the coolest people I've sat down with. He cares deeply for discipling, but admits that preaching isn't his favorite thing. His messages were okay. Again, biblical, but the series he was working on was topical. He connected it to scripture, but I wouldn't at all call it expository.
Church D seemed like the winner for awhile. A non-denominational church that had a decently diverse age group. The first time I went I went on my own, and a woman invited my wife out to the Mom's group! She even called my wife later in the week. The pastor's preaching was incredible. It reminded us a lot of our old pastor. We met with him in our home and were pretty excited about settling in here. We wound up missing a few Sundays for various reasons, and returned to find out that the pastor resigned. We don't know why. My wife then revealed that while people were really nice at first, many of the women kind of just went about business. In the nursery, where she'd take our baby when she would get cranky, no one wanted to watch/listen to the message which was simulcasted into the room.
Church E was our most recent attempt. They have a new pastor and I listened to him a little online and he is very good. However, when we attended it was an "installment" service, and his old pastor from when he was in seminary came and gave a message (which was very, very good). The population here was definitely older. Not too many our age, though a little better than Church A. However, 98% of the men wore suits, or at least ties. I had on shorts. I was incredibly uncomfortable. Also the music were hymns. I like some hymns mixed in, but the traditional organ/piano hymn singing isn't for me. That's not a good reason to not attend a church, but I am not engaged during this kind of music. My wife wants to go back another week to see the new pastor preach, and I'm sure we will.
So that's our search. I'm not saying we're doing it right, but writing this out was somewhat therapeutic. It was so hard leaving BCC, and our search here has been disheartening. If you're reading this please pray for us as a family. Pray for God's guidance. Pray that we have clarity in what matters most. We don't want to settle, but we also don't want to be picky. I think both extremes are dangerous.
In 2015 I took a job in the Harrisburg area so my wife and I could move closer to family. We always wanted to settle down here long-term, and with our first baby on the way, it was especially important.
We bought a house in Middletown, PA and began checking out churches in the area. Honestly, I had already started the search online in advance to help us narrow it down. We've now attended (sometimes for weeks) two churches in Middletown, two in Elizabethtown, and one in Mt. Joy. Hopefully some day we can ultimately settle in the E-town or Mt. Joy area, which is just south of Middletown, which is why we're avoiding churches in the Harrisburg area, and why Hershey and even Hummelstown haven't really been considered yet either. Essentially, we're not just looking for a church home for the next few years, but for the next few decades.
But it's been a serious struggle. Limiting by region hasn't helped, but things are tougher than I thought it would be. We would generally prefer a non-denominational church, but a conservative, Biblical denomination would be fine too. Of the five places we've visited, there have been two non-denominational, one Southern Baptist, one EFCA, and one Christian Missionary Alliance. All of them are doctrinally sound.
Generally, I think we're evaluating churches based on four criteria: Sermons (biblical, expository, relevant, and style), Community (diverse ages, inviting, have small groups, children's ministry), Evangelism/Community Outreach, and Music. Right or wrong, that's basically how I've been looking at things.
Church A had solid preaching, but there was, I think, one other couple within 10 years of our age. Three children were there, and one of them was with his grandmother, whom I believe was visiting family in the area and wanted to attend church with her grandson. People were welcoming. They apparently had a cookout going on later int he day and probably five people invited us. Also noteworthy is that my wife was nine months pregnant at the time. Many older woman gave her plenty of attention! I don't remember the topic of the sermon, but the pastor was great. It was a very biblical and expository sermon. He would actually stop by the house within the next week or so and wrote a very nice note to my wife. He called me a time or two as well. It was tough, though, because there was no community our own age. Were we to stay there and build that community? Was that our call? I'm not sure they had much going on in the area of evangelism, but we only attended once.
We attended Church B sporadically over the next couple months. Sporadically because that's when our daughter was born. The first time we went was like a day or two before our daughter was due, and they immediately got us signed up for a "meal train." Seriously, they didn't even know us, and they had meals for us every other day for two weeks after she was born. I texted with the pastor during the 20 hours of labor and the sudden need for a c-section. Why did we stop going? Honestly, the teaching seemed really shallow. Not unbiblical, but it could be described as what used to be called "seeker-sensitive." Not at all expository. So we looked elsewhere.
Church C had some really kind people and we were told about a small group that was really active. This church probably had the best diversity in age. I once met with the pastor for coffee and he was one of the coolest people I've sat down with. He cares deeply for discipling, but admits that preaching isn't his favorite thing. His messages were okay. Again, biblical, but the series he was working on was topical. He connected it to scripture, but I wouldn't at all call it expository.
Church D seemed like the winner for awhile. A non-denominational church that had a decently diverse age group. The first time I went I went on my own, and a woman invited my wife out to the Mom's group! She even called my wife later in the week. The pastor's preaching was incredible. It reminded us a lot of our old pastor. We met with him in our home and were pretty excited about settling in here. We wound up missing a few Sundays for various reasons, and returned to find out that the pastor resigned. We don't know why. My wife then revealed that while people were really nice at first, many of the women kind of just went about business. In the nursery, where she'd take our baby when she would get cranky, no one wanted to watch/listen to the message which was simulcasted into the room.
Church E was our most recent attempt. They have a new pastor and I listened to him a little online and he is very good. However, when we attended it was an "installment" service, and his old pastor from when he was in seminary came and gave a message (which was very, very good). The population here was definitely older. Not too many our age, though a little better than Church A. However, 98% of the men wore suits, or at least ties. I had on shorts. I was incredibly uncomfortable. Also the music were hymns. I like some hymns mixed in, but the traditional organ/piano hymn singing isn't for me. That's not a good reason to not attend a church, but I am not engaged during this kind of music. My wife wants to go back another week to see the new pastor preach, and I'm sure we will.
So that's our search. I'm not saying we're doing it right, but writing this out was somewhat therapeutic. It was so hard leaving BCC, and our search here has been disheartening. If you're reading this please pray for us as a family. Pray for God's guidance. Pray that we have clarity in what matters most. We don't want to settle, but we also don't want to be picky. I think both extremes are dangerous.
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